InstaFriday/Friday's Letters

Dear Whole30, I only have FIVE more days of you. I'm so conflicted! I've spent the last 25 days thinking about what I'm going to splurge on on day 31, and now I'm not sure if I even want to stop. Not to get all cheesy and what not, but I'm actually feeling pretty dang proud of myself these days. I've been cooking almost three meals every day for the past 25 days and have, in turn, become a much better (and efficient) cook and I feel as though my palette has matured in the process. I'm trying all kinds of new things (I made spaghetti with spaghetti squash last night -- and it was awesome! Recipe to come soon. Forgot to snap it with my phone) and I'm appreciating old things much more. Like strawberries, for example. I used to put Splenda or Equal on my strawberries because I didn't think they were sweet enough. Turns out, they are just exactly as sweet as they're supposed to be, it was me who was off. I had bombarded my taste buds with unnaturally sweet things (i.e. anything with high fructose corn syrup, added sugar or artificial sugars -- like, everything I ate ever), unnaturally salty things (i.e. potato chips, pretzels, crackers, ramen noodles), unnaturally fatty things (again, think back to my obsession with potato chips and everything bagels from DD) that my tastebuds were all out of whack. I thought tea tasted disgusting if it didn't have a ton of sugar, honey or fake sugar in it; Now I look forward to drinking hot tea all by itself every day as a special treat and have no problem with gulping down some unsweet tea (which always has to be specified here, by the way. Some places do not approve of not sweetening your tea.) Remember my issue with coffee back at the beginning of this experiment? I'm fully enjoying a cup of coffee as I type this post and all that's in it is canned coconut milk. I think this has been an incredibly successful experiment so far.

Dear Fruity Pebble Cupcakes, I made you for Jessica's bridal shower (fruity pebbles are her fave) and I managed to not even take a single lick of your icing or colorful little sugar flakes. You smelled amazing, and I was definitely tempted. But let's consider my willpower officially tested. (Recipe can be found here except I didn't add the bananas, just the pudding -- I heard they were delicious.)

Dear Ziggy, You are looking slimmer and slimmer every day! Your energy has increased and it could just be me, but I feel like we've bonded through the whole running together every day thing. You have come a long way from almost dying from heat exhaustion after 2 miles that one day. You're adorable. Thanks for being the best friend a girl could ask for. I love the way you prance around in every puddle we come across, even if it is really weird that you then feel the need to pee in said puddles. Dear Barnes & Noble, Thank you for supplying me with the cutest planner EVER. And yes, friends, I may be the least organized person ever when it comes to messy rooms and living spaces, but there's just something so satisfying about writing down daily engagements in a planner. Especially one with gorgeous drawings and motivational quotes every couple of pages. Dear Hair, I'm so happy that you're long enough for me to braid now! I thought this day would never come when I chopped off 17 in back in January! Also, this is happening. Get excited. I am. Dear Whole30 Daily E-mails, Thanks for keeping me pumped every day. At the end of each day you click whether you ate clean that day or made some bad decisions -- if you click that one, it will start all the e-mails over again. BUT if you click the first option it sends you to hilarious videos, motivational images, etc. This bathroom mirror one really resonated with me, so I saved it. I think many people could use a reminder like this one. Dear Labor Day Weekend, I'm ready to do something exciting. Let's make this one count! Maybe I'll even cook on a grill for the first time to get my paleo-labor-day-burgers on! Dear iPhone Friends, Download the Songza app. It makes me happy.

Dear Readers, Happy Friday! Have a wonderful and safe long weekend!

Love,

Kensie

Linking up here, here and here!

Running: An Anthropological Speculation

I realize my blog has been pretty food-heavy lately. Clearly this whole30 thing is going straight to my head, so today I'd like to focus on a little something different, but still health-related..

Running! I'm not going to get all science-y on you, if you're worried about that. This is actually going to be more of an observatory human behavior piece.. (with a little bit of crude and offensive humor mixed in. It's all in good fun.)

First of all, let's address my need to take disgusting sweaty self-portraits after my runs. I truly don't understand this compulsion. On the one hand, it may be "Hey everyone! Look how healthy I am, I just went running!" kind of like my need to "check in" to the gym and Whoops! Would you look at that? It just told all my Facebook friends I'm at the gym! Weird! (Don't lie. Everyone does this. At least I can admit it.) Or maybe it's my way of telling my InstaGram followers: "Yo, I know I take a lot of shameless self-portraits that may leave you thinking I'm the narcissistic-ist of them all, but look! I also take photos of myself looking disgusting with no makeup... so that makes it okay, right?" Either way it leaves me with lots of laughable photos in my phone's photo album on any given day. Exhibit A:

(the one on the bottom right is the view through my ghetto "waterproofing" of my phone via sandwich bag before running outside with a very sketchy-looking grey sky)

Next I would like to discuss drivers of the world and their reactions to girls (I can't really speak for the male running population, but I would love to learn, so if any dudes even read my blog and happen to go running, please do fill me in) running on the side of the road by themselves. As far as I'm concerned there are a few different categories of people and the way they react to runners. 

1. The Honkers: The Honkers can be categorized further. 

a) Rednecks that drive huge trucks that generally have some sort of decal across the windshield saying something to the effect of "AMERICA! EFF YEA!" "Mud Lyfe" "Boats & Hoes" a rebel flag sticker or a pair of shiny, silver testicles hanging from the trailer hitch. There may or may not be several other equally rednecky good ol' boys in the bed of the truck hollering as well. Might be blasting Kid Rock or Nickelback.*

b) Ghetto-fied wannabe pimp daddies that usually drive some sort of crappy car that has been souped up with spinning rims and a horrible, horrible sounding bass pumping out jams that have intelligent and lovely lyrics like, "Ass and Titties" "Eff Bitches Get Money" or "Knuck if you Buck" (What does that even mean?) It's especially fun when the drivers of these vehicles are very scrawny white boys. Just saying.*

c) Rich, very cocky frat boys that drive Escalades and/or Range Rovers their daddies gave them when they turned 15 with their letters proudly displayed on the rear window and perhaps a Natty Light in a Guy Harvey koozie in the cup holder. Probably wearing a Polo shirt, Sperries and potentially backwards hat that says something along the lines of "Rage" "Go Hard" or their Greek letters. Probably listening to Dubstep or Kenny Chesney.*

d) Very creepy old men that  could easily be your father's age. These are the worst and scariest of offenders. These men may or may not have granddaughters your age and most likely click on those spam e-mails in regards to lengthening and hardening certain body parts -- that is if they even know what the internet is. Might be rockin' out to some classic rock.

e) Young girls who are giggling uncontrollably, blasting "Call Me, Maybe" and discussing in detail how fat your ass is. Most likely on their way to Mochi for some froyo (this may have been me and my friends in high school).

f) Family/friends because you live in a tiny, tiny town where everyone knows each other. You usually feel slightly guilty about your initial eye roll directly following the honk, but then get excited and risk adding a few seconds to your mile time to stop and talk to them. You also consider asking for a ride home because it's hot as eff outside.

*The creepiness of these gentlemen is directly proportionate to how good looking they are. If they are in fact pretty, you might be flattered and/or wishing that you weren't bright-red in the face and covered in sweat.

(What I think I look like while I'm running)

2. The Whiplashers: These are usually dudes (see a, b, c and especially d) that seem as though they might get whiplash from how fast their neck whipped around to watch you as they drove by.

3. The Overly Cautious: These folks are usually elderly and probably didn't think twice about running a stop sign farther down the road because they should have traded in their driver's license for their AARP card. They usually slow down to 2 mph as soon as they see you running and nearly hit the curb in the oncoming lane in order to give you a 20-foot-wide radius to run in.

4. The IDGAF Crew: These people don't give an eff about runners and feel as though we should not be allowed near the road that is made specifically for cars only. They do not swerve in the slightest when they see you coming, in fact they may even speed up just to freak you out a little. They have better things to do than slow down for runners, like buy expensive golf clubs and cheat on their husbands/wives. These drivers may have hit a bicyclist in the past and yelled at the cyclist for being an idiot afterwards. They also tend to get exasperated and throw their hands up when you get a walk signal at traffic lights and proceed to run across the road as the law requires.

5. The Runners: The ones who are driving home so they can put on their running shoes and join you. They swerve the perfect amount and tend to give you a little wave/head nod in camaraderie. You can spot them by their "13.1" or "26.2" stickers on the back of their cars.

6. The Majority: People who don't honk, look, smile or say anything to you. They just go on living their lives. *Might* be avoiding eye contact because they're on their way to McDonald's, however, the apathy of these individuals is generally appreciated by runners the world over.

(What I actually look like while I'm running)

Is this a national phenomenon or is this just what happens when you live in the south? Please share your running stories in the comments!

Linking up here for Inspire Me Healthy!

What I Wore

 dress: H&M // Shoes: Lauren Conrad 

 Shorts: Ross // Shirt: Old Navy // Dress: Plato's Closet // Cardigan: target

Shirt: Buckle // Shoes: Target // Pants: Kohl's // Dress: Roxy // Necklace: INPink

Don't you love how Ziggy pops into all my awkward mirror pix? You even see her in post-jump position in one of them. That little attention whore. She is currently trying to jump on the keyboard.

Gotta love that crazy pup.

By the way.. I'm feeling very uncreative in the fashion department lately. I need some motivation. Or  maybe just a butt load of spending money so I can shop for new clothes..

Maybe I should stop buying concert tickets on a whim.

.....Nah.

Linking up here: The Pleated Poppy, Rae Gun Ramblings, Transatlantic Blonde and Rolled Up Pretty

Whole30 Update: 3 Weeks

Today marks three whole weeks of the Whole30. This means I have nine more days of no wheat, added sugar, artificial sugar, peanuts, corn or legumes. I would be lying to you right through my computer screen if I said that I have had a squeaky clean 21 days. There have been a few incidents, accidental and some not-so-accidental, that probably should have made me start this bad boy over again, but considering my previous bad habits, a couple slip ups and three whole weeks without any wheat (or splenda in my coffee) whatsoever is a pretty big accomplishment for me.

For the record, I started this program as an experiment. On the one hand, yes, I did/do want to lose weight, but not a significant amount. The experiment was really a way for me to be able to better listen to and understand my body. I've mentioned on this blog many times my struggle with being lactose intolerant (and being obsessed with cheese) and the thing I don't-so-much-like-to-talk-about: my IBS. That's irritable bowel syndrome. Yes, bowels as in the things that make you go number 2. It's embarrassing to talk about, sure, but mostly it's a medical condition that I have and it just so happens to be very difficult to understand. The first time a doc told me I had this condition he basically said, "Figure out what hurts your stomach and don't eat it." Now that, my friends, is far easier said than done.

I thought of this cleanse, however, as the perfect way to do this. I did not realize all the other benefits that come along with eating clean. I've been reading "It Starts With Food" and learning more and more about the inflammation these irritating foods are cause and the problems this inflammation causes, from the obvious symptoms like cramps, bloating, gas and irregularity in the bathroom region, to the less obvious symptoms like sinus headaches, fatigue and tendinitis. 

Some of the success stories in this book are almost intimidating (i.e. getting off of diabetes medication because blood sugar levels are perfect, boundless energy, no sugar cravings ever, etc.) and I can't say that I feel like a completely new person, but here's what I can tell you after three weeks of significantly changing my diet:

My Skin: After the first week, I noticed a change in my skin. It felt far dryer than usual. I have always had oily skin and stuck to a pretty regular, strict routine in order to keep from breaking out and suddenly I was having to put lotion on after washing my face to keep from peeling (a couple years ago the thought of putting anything even remotely greasy onto my face would've made me cringe). But now, it seems to have leveled out and I've even forgotten to wash my face a couple times and it's clear! No one has told me I'm glowing or anything like that, but can definitely tell that my skin is clearer and my pores look smaller. I love that.

Bloating: Before I started this cleanse, I was in a fairly constant state of bloating in my abdominal region. If I eat the tiniest bit of dairy, my stomach automatically bloats, but I just assumed it was all from dairy. Now I realize sugar (and I'm sure gluten) has the same effect. I have had far less bloating lately. 

Weight Loss: I am not allowed to weigh myself until after day 30, so I can't give you definitive answer as to have many pounds I have shed, but I can tell you that my pants are fitting way looser these days. I have started having to wear a belt with my work pants and feel more confident in my clothes.

Running: When I first started this program, I had some adverse effects, like feeling super tired and even getting sick, so I took sort of a hiatus from running to allow my body to adjust. I've since reintroduced it and brought my dog along for the ride. We both seem to be improving vastly. I really haven't gone farther than usual, but I have been going more often and faster. Usually I do LSD (Long Slow Distance, you dirty minded folks!) and my first mile is usually around 10:30 - 11 minutes with the miles getting slightly faster as I go and generally averaging out to 10 minutes per mile. Lately (since Ziggy has started getting her groove back) I've been doing an 8:30 minute mile to begin with. I haven't tried running without a chubster beagle-mix trying to chase squirrels/run under my feet in quite a while, but I have a feeling that when I do it's going to be excellent.

Sleep: I noticed right away how much easier it was for me to fall asleep. This might have something to do with me no longer chugging caffeine-laden Coke Zero every night, but before this cleanse I definitely spent a long time lying in bed before actually falling asleep. Now I'm out almost as soon as I hit the sack. Now I just need to work on going to bed earlier so I can start waking up early. This is definitely one of my goals I need to get crackin' on.

Cravings: They're still there. If I smell something awesome, for example, but just seeing bread or cookies doesn't torture me nearly as much anymore. I miss sweet stuff way more than I do bread/sandwiches/tortillas/etc. I am looking forward to being able to eat honey and agave nectar, but I don't plan on using artificial sweeteners or eating bread even after the 30 days are up.

If you all have any questions please feel free to leave them in the comments or e-mail me at mackensieg(at)gmail(dot)com.

And if you're interested, here are the recipes shown in the photos above for bacon wrapped scallops and paleo mayo.

Music Monday

Remember AFI?

This brings back all kinds of middle school/early high school memories.

Like plaid pants, Avril Lavigne eye liner, chains & belly-button-rings-used-as-earrings.


;) Happy Monday, friends.

Bridesmaids

(Jessica's the one in the middle)

Today we celebrated my best friend, Jessica's bridal shower.

I love all of these girls.

& let's just say...

I cannot wait for the bachelorette party.

PS: I am so Kristen Wiig in this scenario ;)

Happy Weekend!

InstaFriday/Friday's Letters

Dear Whole30, I'm over halfway done with you. Please keep doing good things to me and help me to continue these good habits even after September 6. I'm really enjoying cooking your recipes, but these dishes are driving nucking futs. Forrealz. Oh, and in case you're wondering, those are bacon-wrapped scallops and they were AMAZING.

Dear Britni, Thanks for making me laugh and continually making fun with Avril & Nickelback Dude's recent engagement with me. Dear Creative-Nail Bloggy Friends, I keep wanting to do fancy designs on my finger nails and what not but I chicken out for several reasons. One, if I mess up, I do NOT want to have to start over -- I'm really impatient when it comes to painting nails. Two, if it looks really cool I'm going to be so distraught when it chips over within 24 hours (and it always does. wtf, mate?). Three, I don't know how to make straight lines with a nail polish brush. I think it's impossible but then I see all you ladies doing it like it ain't no thing. My mind keeps going back to tape, but that would involve waiting for the bottom layer to be completely dry, and then I imagine the tape would pull it off anyway! Help a sista out. Dear Ziggy, You are the cutest ever. I really, really wish that I could be even half as excited about going running on a daily basis as you are. You are simply giddy the second I put my sports bra on! (See photo below and imagine very loud begging accompanying a very pathetic-looking face when she thought I was going running outside at 10pm when really I was just hitting up the treadmill. Poor pup.) And speaking of running, you are improving like crazy! A couple weeks ago I thought she was going to die from heat exhaustion and she could barely walk after a mile and a half, and two nights ago she ran 4 and half with me no problem!

Dear Florida, This rain every day has been a little crazy. I often find myself sitting in my car taking pictures, waiting for you to let up so I can go inside. You make for quite a pretty painting though! Dear Addison, You are seriously the cutest, sweetest little girl I've ever seen. I just love you. Dear Jessica, Thinking about your bridal shower this weekend makes me really excited about your bachelorette party and the actual wedding! I can't wait!! Dear Gaslight Anthem, you are amazing.

Dear Readers, Happy Friday!!

Love,

Kensie

Linking up here, here and here!

Tilapia, Mango Salsa & Kale Chips

 How pretty are these things that grow from dirt?

While at Publix picking up some wild-caught salmon -- my go-to -- I decided to give tilapia a chance. I'm sure I had tasted it before, but I could never remember if I liked it or not, but after this experiment I think I'll remember that it can, in fact, be super ultra delicious.

All I did was pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees, coat the tilapia in coconut oil, salt and pepper and bake on an aluminum foil-covered baking sheet for about 12 minutes.

Also, if you've ever tried raw kale, you will NOT believe how good it tastes after baking it. I was skeptical at first, but trust me when I say kale chips are addictive.

I followed this recipe because I had no idea how kale chips worked.. at all (I was almost as clueless about kale as I was about mango..).

I just washed a bunch of kale, doused it in olive oil and salt (I actually used too much salt. It really doesn't need much at all) and baked in a 275 degree oven for 20 minutes, flipped it over and cooked for another 20 minutes.

While all that business was cooking, I chopped up a mango (which is way more complicated than it looks..), onion, tomato, cilantro, bell pepper, then added salt, pepper and lime juice. (I loosely followed this recipe, but I'm too impatient to marinade and find several of these ingredients).

It was a truly satisfying meal. I was very please with how it turned out. I'm always really excited when a Whole30 meal I make tastes so good that it doesn't seem like I'm "dieting" or "detoxing" at all. This was definitely one of those.

Cheers to 17 days of clean eating!

What I Wore

 Shirt: Old Navy/ Skirt: Target/ Shoes: Gift/ Necklace: ??

Jeans: O'Neill/ Shirt: Buckle/ Earrings: Betsy Johnson

 Shirt: Old Navy/ Pants: Kohl's/ Shoes: Payless/

Shorts: Made from AE jeans/ Shirt: Dashboard Confessional Conert/ Flippy-Floppies: Rainbow

Shirt: Ross/ Shorts: Volcom

You guys, I am halfway through the Whole30! Hooray!!

I think I'm starting to reap the benefits too. I've been sleeping like a baby and breaking out far less.

Still waiting for the boundless energy to kick in, but I have faith. It's getting easier to make good food choices and I'm learning so much about cooking. I'm excited about all of this business. I have so many recipes to share with you all.

But for now, I must run.

Happy Wednesday!

Linking up here: The Pleated Poppy, Rae Gun Ramblings, Transatlantic Blonde and Rolled Up Pretty

Sunday Confessions

I've been a pretty big fan of Every Day is a New Adventure for a while now, and I've always thought about participating in the "Sunday Confessions" linkup, but I felt as though my confessions would pale in comparison to hers. Plus, I'm a saint, so there's not much to confess (it has nothing to do with the fact that my actual confessions should not be shared over the internetz... not at all.)

But here I am on Sunday, givin' it a whirl. Here goes nothing. Now entering.. *No Judgement Zone*

I confess that I have slipped up a little on my Whole30 diet in the past couple of days. This cup of coffee contains coconut milk creamer, but I didn't realize when I bought it that it had some added sugar of some sort in there. It tasted way too good to not contain some sort of sweetener. I don't, however, feel that this calls for a whole 30 more days. I don't think I can handle it when I'm already almost half way through. Also, last night I had a piece of lactose-free cheese that contains dairy.. I was punished with bloating and stomach ickiness, so live and learn I suppose. No more of that. Promise.

I confess that this coffee cup made me miss Seattle. Like, a lot. I wish I was still there.

I confess that this little girl, my baby cousin Addy, makes me want a baby. Despite not having a legit salary/husband/stable living situation. I don't care. This angel smiles, gives me a hug and makes me want one of my own*. However, I confess that I'm not sure I'd ever be selfless enough to have my own child. Ever. Oh, conflicting confessions. What's a girl to do? ;)
*So not actually going to happen. Don't worry, mom.

I confess that I could eat the ENTIRE tub of this sunflower seed butter. It's freaking amaze-balls. 

I confess that going 13 days without weighing myself has been driving me a little crazy. (This is part of the Whole30 program, you're not allowed to know your weight until 30 days are over.) I wasn't anticipating this, but I so want to know. I didn't even used to own a scale when I lived in my apartment, and apparently living at home has made me dependent on it. Who knew I had so many addictions? Speaking of.. I confess that I really miss drinking Coke Zero. I know I shouldn't drink it, but I want it so bad. I confess that running has not been easy for me lately. Maybe it's because I've been bringing my fat pup along on my runs, or the crazy humidity, but I've been seriously slacking in my mileage. I guess I still haven't experience the rejuvenating effects of the Whole30 yet, but I still have 17 more days to go. I confess that I've been daydreaming about what foods I'm going to indulge in on September 7. And yes, food is on my mind a lot lately. I think I've landed on sushi. 

I confess that while I'm totally happy for all these couples getting engaged lately (i.e. everyone), I die a little inside every time I see a Facebook status changed to "engaged." And really, Facebook? Is it really necessary to remind me that they're all happy and have their lives figured out by displaying it above the birthdays and events? As if I'm not already stalking the $hit out of these people for lack of anything better to do? 

I confess that I am beyond ready to move out of this small town. January could not get here quick enough. I confess that I'm going to need to do some serious learning about budgeting before January comes. Anyone want to teach me about extreme couponing? Not to mention ridding myself of my hoarding tendencies.

And lastly, I confess that I spent Saturday night after work in bed reading my kindle. Grandma status.

Happy Sunday, friends. 

InstaFriday/Friday's Letters

Dear Readers & InstaGram Followers, Turns out the only thing I take photos of these days is my food. Considering I don't have much of a life outside of work and cooking Whole30-approved meals, I suppose this makes sense. I apologize if it's obnoxious, but at least it all looks pretty put together in a collage! Believe it or not, before this week I had never cooked my own steak before. It still totally grosses me out and I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it's quite delicious. So at least I've got that going for me. Also, I'm now obsessed with coconut water and green smoothies. Awesomeness.

Dear iPhone, Thanks for being flippin' awesome. I can barely remember a time when I couldn't make my photos look 300x cooler than they actually are with photo editing apps. Dear It Starts With Food, After reading you, I think I'm going to be very conflicted about eating bread, sugar or consuming alcohol ever again.. Again, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm already starting to feel hostile when I see commercials with Olympians enjoying a refreshing coke (There's no way you drink soda while training! It's terrible for you!) or skinny, beautiful people nomming on some KitKats and singing about it (You're probably one of those skinny people who are secretly storing sneaky-heart-unhealthy-fat in your midsection waiting to turn into a heart attack!). Which is when I calmly remind myself that these are paid actors and that it's just the carb-deprived crazy in me talking. I'm really starting to wonder what my eating habits will be like after the Whole30 is over. There is much research and decision-making to be done in the next 19 days. Dear Weather, Chill out. Every single day I've been seeing crazy lightning and it keeps scaring me away from running outside. I know everyone has been saying it, but I, too, am about ready for chillier, autumn weather to get here. I'm ready for pumpkins and running in sub-90-degree-weather-without-bipolar-rain-storms-every-five-minutes. And speaking of running, I keep forgetting that I have a half marathon coming up! The Disney Wine & Dine is in November. I cannot believe it's almost been a year since the last one. Crazy, dude. Dear Will Ferrel, You're hilarious. If you haven't already, go see "The Campaign." I lol'd the entire time.

Happy Friday, friends!

Love,

Kensie

Linking up here and here!

What I Wore

 Shirt: Brit NYC // Shorts: AE // Flippy-Floppies: Rainbow

Dress: Old Navy // Belt: Charlotte Rousse // Earrings: Betsy Johnson // Sandals: Gifted

Shirt: Old Navy // Skirt: Ross // Necklace: F21

Since I have been sick and unable to partake in libations due to the ole Whole30 deal, the only reason I've gotten dressed this week is for work and errands. And in case you're wondering, yes, I did download some new photo editing apps on my iPhone and yes, they are awesome. I'm practically singing "Beauty School Drop Out" in that top right one. Oh yea.

I also haven't been running, however, so I'm going to go force myself to do that.. sick or not, the running must be done! Adios, mis amigos. Feliz Miercoles!

Linking up here: The Pleated Poppy, Rae Gun Ramblings, Transatlantic Blonde and Rolled Up Pretty

Salmon & Asparagus Frittata

One of the first Paleo recipes I tried after starting the Whole30 was this Salmon & Asparagus Frittata, which I found here. It was pretty delish. Here's what you need:

• 12 eggs
• 6-8 oz salmon
• asparagus
• scallions
• mushrooms
• 1 t garlic powder
• 1 t onion powder
• salt and pepper
• 1 T olive oil

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Whisk the eggs, shrooms, onions and powders all together and grease up and season the salmon and asparagus on an aluminum foil wrapped pan.

Bake for 12-15 minutes or until salmon flakes easily with a fork, and then, if you're a wild child like myself, tear the salmon apart with your hands and cut up the asparagus to mix in with the egg concoction.

Pour it all into a glass baking dish and bake until the middle is no longer jiggly -- mine took about 40 minutes, but the recipe only called for 18-20 minutes. I then proceeded to eat it by itself, with avocado on top of it, with hot sauce and even stunk up my office with fishy salmon smell at one point; totally worth it.

This detox definitely has me thinking outside the box. Cheers to 8 days without carbs!

Update: Day 7

I'm sick, you guys.

According to the Whole30 material, "You may be experiencing some physical symptoms; the result of your body starting to heal from the damage done by your old less-healthy food choices. Acne and rashes, worsening allergies, and digestive distress are common during this first week. Sometimes, things get worse before they get better, but know this is a common, even healthy stage as your body starts to heal. Be patient—by the second week, these should be largely resolved."

Today marks Day 7 and besides feeling like I can't breathe through my nose, a sore throat and a general weak feeling, I suppose things are going well. I'm definitely not craving bread nearly as much as I was the first couple of days. I'm starting to see a difference in the way my clothes fit and less bloating in the stomach region. Also, I've totally been having weird dreams. I dreamt I ate a cheeseburger -- I got in at McDonald's with no cheese, brought it home and added my own lactose-free cheese and ate it up. I realized about 3/4 of the way through that I wasn't supposed to eat any of that and started freaking out.
I even woke up feeling guilty. Wow. Never thought I'd have a dream based solely on a McDonald's cheeseburger. I don't even think fries were involved.

So in order to make the best of my time being sick, I'm watching Netflix in bed. Obvi. I just watched "The Sweetest Thing," which I hadn't seen in years and I've been cracking up. Christina Applegate and Cameron Diaz need to be my best friends, please and thank you. Also, it takes place in San Francisco, so... it's a sign. I hope you enjoy this scene as much as I did:


I'm sure many other movies will follow while I'm home sick for the rest of the day, chugging coconut water and munching on carrots. There may even be some repetition of this song..

What can I say? Kid's got swag.. I'm going back to bed now. Peace.

InstaFriday/Friday's Letters

Dear Whole30, You have been doing all sorts of weird stuff to my bod in the past three days, including giving me killer sinus headaches. How about you quit that shiz. I'm ready for the skinny-clear-skin-extra-energy-no-sugar-cravings part to start. You have also forced me to cook every day and experiment with things I never would have otherwise. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I've ever put hot sauce on anything.. or ordered sushi without rice for that matter.. Dear Readers, Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words in regards to the above mentioned detox. You guys seriously rock my world. I get so excited when I hear my e-mail ding on my phone and really disappointed when it's just an ad from PacSun or something. Also, fear not. I will definitely be posting my favorite recipes above in due time.

Dear Work Friends, Last Saturday was one of those parties I'll be telling people about for years to come. No doubt. Y'all are crazy and so much fun. I will dog pile with you all day every day.
Dear Snake Friend, You scared the bajeezus out of me by slithering on my foot while walking out of the office the other day. I thought you were a wee little earthworm at first, I'm sure there would have been a lot more screaming had I known you were actually a snake from the get-go. I did, however, brave your jaws of fury to push you into the grass with a leaf, which is how I came to snap this photo of your surprisingly beautiful belly. Dear Mama, Thanks for having me. I dig your fro in this pic circa '89 (that's baby me!). You should bring it back. ;) Dear Emma, I seriously cannot wait to start our adventure together. It's going to be so scary and awesome and all of those things that we're supposed to be experiencing from life right now. Dear People of Ocala, Please make the next two days of working doubles worth it by leaving me mucho dinero. Pleeeeease. Dear Self, Stay strong while working doubles the next two days. The fried rice isn't worth it. It will seem like it. But it's not.

Happy Friday!

Love,

Kensie

Linking up here and here!

Coffee.

My parents have been coffee drinkers for as long as I can remember (although I'm sure the habit dates back much further than 23 years). I have awaken (woken? wow. I just stared at this word so long it has now lost all meaning) to the smell of coffee every morning spent in my parents' house, and I went on to brew my own cups of coffee every morning in my minuscule coffeemaker in my college dorm and then, in a slightly larger coffeemaker, every morning at my three different college apartments.

As a child my parents humored my desire to be like the 'big kids' and drink a cup with them every once in a while, granted it was always 3/4 cream and sugar, but I've been doing it ever since -- always with cream and sugar. My mom drinks hers with cream only and my dad drinks his with Equal only (I could write a whole post on how this is a metaphorical representation of their 29-year-strong-relationship and ideals of either party in general, but I'll skip the philosophical assumptions for now..)
I like to get the best of both worlds.

It wasn't until sophomore year of college that I actually accepted my severely lactose intolerance, but that didn't stop me from eating an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese and a medium iced coffee with cream and Splenda from Dunkin Donuts several times a week all four years. After graduation was actually the first time I decided to give up dairy all together (instead of just popping Lactaid pills with every meal).

This is when I learned that Dunkin Donuts has zero dairy-free cream products (fun fact: most Coffee Made creamers sold at grocery stores are dairy-free) at least here in Florida. Is it the same way at DDs in other states? It's very frustrating. And silly, really, considering if you tallied up the amount of money I've spent at that establishment I'm sure it would be enough to pay for a year's rent and several high-class cappuccino makers. (Nowadays if I'm really craving it, I order the bagel with no cream cheese and the coffee without cream and add my own dairy-free substitutes when I get home.)

Despite that little rant, this is not a Florida Dunkin Donuts call to action (vegans and lactose intolerants need coffee and donuts too!), this is actually just a post about my Whole30 dilemma. As I'm typing and feeling the nostalgia of delicious cups of coffee past, I've been searching my brain to see if it is, in fact, possible for me to enjoy a cup of coffee without sweetener.

With the detox plan I've committed to for the next 27 days (I'm on day 3) I am forbidden from consuming sugar or any sugar substitutes, including Splenda, Equal, Truvia, Honey and Agave Nectar -- all of which I had been consuming on a daily basis. My mom harvests her own honey for God's sake!

So here I am sipping on a now-room-temperature cup of bitter liquid with almond/cashew cream and wondering if I even actually like coffee. Considering I'm almost down to the the bottom of the cup and I finished a cup just like it yesterday, it seems that it's not repulsive enough to stop me from drinking it.. but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been searching my brain for some way around the no-sugar-substitute rule (but agave nectar is natural! Sugar in fruit is natural! Why is that allowed?!)

It's a constant battle. I know it would take a couple steps and a rip of two packets to make this drink taste 100% better than it currently does, but I won't do it. I think one of two things will happen from this experience: I will stop drinking coffee all together, or I will learn to love the actual taste of coffee instead of letting it be the backdrop for my love of all things creamy and sweet. Who knows, maybe I'll even learn to enjoy unsweet tea too (although I really can't imagine that ever happening...I think my southern is showing.)

So this is what happens when I go three days without carbs I suppose. I end up writing a novel about a cup of coffee. If you made it through this entire post, kudos to you and I strongly suggest you comment and let me know so I can give you a huge virtual hug and have a reason to smile the rest of the day.

What I Wore

It's about that time where I take awkward photos in front of my mirror so you can all see the mess that is my bedroom (and my outfits too). Enjoy.

 Skirt: Gift from Mexico // Shoes: Payless // Shirt: Old Navy // Other Shirt: AE // Jeans: AE

 Dress: Ross // Cardigan: Target // Shoes: Target // Belt: Target // Earrings: Lucky

Blouse: Kohl's // Undershirt: Target // Shoes: Gift // Jeans: AE

Shirt: Kohl's // Jeans: Hand-me-downs // Necklace: PacSun

Shirt: Inland Ocean // Pants: Kohl's // Shoes: Ross // Necklace: Vintage

I've got a rice-less, soy-less, dairy-less sushi date to get to, folks. Gotta run! 

Hope you enjoy my unfiltered outfit photos! ;)

Linking up with:  The Pleated Poppy, Rae Gun Ramblings, Transatlantic Blonde and Rolled Up Pretty

Whole30

Today I started the Whole30 cleanse.

I first heard about this madness when I read this post, and if I'm being honest here, Kathleen's blog is pretty much the reason I started blogging in the first place. Basically, she's awesome. The point is, I've been feeling ridiculously unhealthy lately due to excessive fried rice consumption at work along with many, many other factors that have led me to be consistently bloated and always wavering between a gnawing hunger pain to overly stuffed to cramping and just overall digestive ickiness. I may or may not be singlehandedly keeping the Pepto-Bismol business afloat right now. Not to mention weight gain (dun dun dunnnn).

I knew I wanted to do a detox of some sort, I just didn't know which one. Then I read about the Whole30 and learned that it was 30 days of no sugar -- including dairy, bread, starchy vegetables, fake sugars (like splenda or agave nectar) and, yes, alcohol. Sounds impossible, right? 

I'm doin' it.

I'm on Day 1, so maybe that's why I still seem cheery about it. Then again, there is a plate of very crispy homemade french fries sitting in front of me right now.. (did I mention I'm the only one in my family putting themselves through this torture?) Talk about testing willpower.

(I added sliced avocado with lemon juice, cayenne pepper and salt on top!)

Anyway, along the way I expect to discover some excellent new recipes and retrain the way my brain and stomach processes food. I started experimenting a few days before officially starting and that's where I found this recipe for Baked Portobello and Tuna.

It was amazing, and I usually don't even like tuna. No lie. (I might have almost set the oven on fire, however, but that's beside the point.) 

I will be documenting my journey on this here blog for all of you to watch and laugh while chompin' down on some donuts. I foresee some emotional roller coasters in the near future..

Happy Tuesday!

PS: For daily snapshots of my meals, etc. following me on InstaGram @MacKensieG or click that button over on the right